IUI #3...

Hopefully the third time is a charm. We started back ttc again after our 2nd loss and I have to admit that it is hard. Hard to keep faith. I'm not going to go into all that right now. I will save that for another long post. But we are officially on CD 15 and had our IUI today. We had ONE mature follicle Saturday at our visit measuring 18mm. Again, it scares me that we only have one shot at catching that little egg but that is exactly what we had last time and we got pregnant. So hopefully we will catch it again! Now all we can do is pray that this is God's time for us!!!!

In Remembrance.....

I was browsing the internet the other day and came across this website where they make remembrance jewelry for our lost babies and I decided that I HAD to have it. So here is my beautiful necklace that I got to remember my 2 angel babies!

The front of my necklace. It's two foot prints inside of a heart!

The front again. It's MUCH prettier in person. The camera doesn't do it justice.

The back. It says 7 1/2 wks and 9 wks-Boy. That is how far along our babies were when we lost them.

If you want to check out the website that I got this from it is www.myforeverchild.com

This is just a way that i can always remember our little ones and they will ALWAYS be in my heart!

Our Little Man....

I had my 6 week post D&C appointment and things went well. I'm doing good and the doc said that our chromosomal tests came back absolutely normal. He was actually surprised that the tests were normal. He said that most statistics show some sort of abnormalities when women have a miscarriage. I guess that could be a good and bad thing. Good that nothing was wrong with our baby and bad that we don't know why we had the miscarriage seeing that the baby was healthy. I guess it was all in God's plan.


We also found out today that our sweet angel baby was a precious little BOY. This was a bitter sweet thing to find out. I've thought so much about if our baby was a boy or girl and to tell the truth, I was 99.9% sure it was a girl. LOL. I guess I was totally WRONG. On another note, it kind of hurts more knowing that we lost a sweet, precious boy. I guess it makes it more REAL knowing that we had a son. So many thoughts and emotions going on right now. But I'm still happy to finally KNOW for sure.

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you little man! You will ALWAYS be in our hearts!!!!

Not much new.....

I hate to be MIA, but there hasn't been a whole lot going on lately. I go back for my post-op appt June 6th but DH and I have decided to extend our ttc break a little longer. We are just going to enjoy the beginning of the summer and think about ttc in another couple of months.

Other news, my brother and sis-in-law found out they are having a BOY!!!!!!!!! YAY! I am overly excited to become an aunt again. This time to a sweet little boy! So very excited! He's going to be so spoiled by his Aunt K.

Also, we are heading to the beach Friday with my brother and sis-in-law (mentioned above) and my Mom and Dad. We haven't been on a vacation with my family (without extended family going) in "who knows how long"!!! I am VERY excited! We are going to have a blast. I will def have pics coming of this trip!!!

Then just 3 weeks after we get back from the beach we are going BACK. We always celebrate our Anniversary at the beach and on June 23 it will be our 4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! So funny how time has flown by. I Love My Hubby so much! He really is the sweetest, cutest, most caring man I've ever met.

So we do have a fun filled couple of weeks ahead of us!

BLESSED

I know it's been a few weeks and I have been MIA, but I just needed a break and a little time to work through all of our emotions. We are actually doing very good now. God has really given us a peace about our situation and it's amazing how God has been right by our sides throughout this WHOLE time. We are also really BLESSED to have such great friends and family by our sides also. We have received several cards, phone calls, emails, and letters that have really helped us cope with our loss. Of course it hasn't been anywhere near easy, but God and family have made it much easier than it could have been. Thank you all for the prayers and kind words. They all mean a lot to us.

We are just taking it easy and enjoying the many other blessings that we do have. We already have a busy summer starting up with beach trips and family coming down to visit.

Nestled in the Arms of the Lord...

We actually got to go to our dr appointment this morning. They ended up opening this morning. As you can tell from the title our little one put up a hard fight but is now in our Heavenly Fathers arms. We had our ultrasound and the tech searched long and hard but we couldn't find a heartbeat anywhere. Also there still had been no growth. DH and I were upset but we were also prepared for the worst and we took it pretty well. After talking to the doc we decided to go ahead and get the d&c done today too. So when we left the office we went straight to the outpatient center to get ready for the procedure. Everything went well and we are now home relaxing and thanking God for the blessings that we STILL have. So many around us have lost homes and loved ones during this tornado Wednesday and God protected us. We had no damage and all our family is safe. So even though we are morning the loss of our little one, we are still thanking God for our many blessings! Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers! We love you all!

Update

Sorry it took me so long to update......thanks ladies for caring so much and praying for us.

Mondays ultrasound was heart wrenching. Baby still showed no growth and its heart rate went down to 61 bpm. I've been upset BUT I have to keep thinking that God is keeping that heart beating for a reason!!! He/she sure is a fighter! We are suppose to go back to the doc tomorrow for another ultrasound but a tornado hit our town last night and the doc office has minor damage and is closed. So not sure when our appointment will be rescheduled.
I promise to keep yall updated on a regular basis. Love yall and please keep the prayers coming!!!

PRAYERS NEEDED.......

This has been a rough week. We went to our 2nd ultrasound appointment Tuesday and we were so excited to see our little one again and see how much he/she had grown over the week. But our hearts broke in half when the ultrasound tech told us that the baby had only grown 1 day bigger over the past 7 days. Also we got to measure the heart rate and our poor little one isn't doing well. It's heart rate only measured 71 bpm. The RE said that normal range is over 100 bpm at this stage. We finished with the ultrasound and went into a room waiting for the RE to come in and talk with us. When she came in she acted like we had already lost the baby. She gave me a hug, told me she was so sorry, and then started asking me if i would rather have a D&C this time or just let the miscarriage happen naturally. My mouth dropped i was so in shock. She went on talking about how they can send the fetus off to be tested to see what was wrong with it and they could do genetic test on me and DH that day!!! WHAT???? I was beyond mad. They were sitting there acting like my baby was DEAD. My baby STILL has a heartbeat! MY BABY IS NOT DEAD! Needless to say when we left there we called my OB/GYN and scheduled an appointment with him. I understand the RE trying to be honest and upfront about the possibility of losing our little one BUT we the baby is NOT dead. They were WAY out of line bringing all that up at the moment.

Anyways, we went to see my OB/GYN thursday (which was my BIRTHDAY) and we got a little better report. The baby had grown another day bigger over the past two days and its heart rate had went from 71 to 85 bpm. He did tell us that there was still a lot of concern because of the low heart rate but IT'S ALL IN GOD'S HANDS. Yes my doctor told me that. I love him. He is such a great Christian man. This was a great day to me because we got to HEAR the heartbeat for the first time. That was the sweetest sound ever. Such a GREAT birthday gift.

We go back to the OB Monday to see if there are any more improvements. Please keep us in your prayers.

We have a HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!

We got our first ultrasound Tuesday April 12th and it was such a relief to see that little flicker on the screen! The baby is so TINY and looks like a little comma. LOL. At the branch office we go to you can't measure or hear the heartbeat with their machines. Kind of disappointing but we did get to watch that little flicker just beating away on the screen. Next ultrasound we are going to the main office in Birmingham because the branch office is going on vacation. Hopefully the main office will have the machines so we can hear the heartbeat this time. You really can't tell much from the pic but I am so proud of my little miracle!!! Keep growing little one. Can't wait to see you again!

Ok...I'll help you out with what your seeing. Lol. The circle on the right is the yolk sac which is giving the baby its nutrients until the placenta forms. The little comma on the left side of the circle is our little baby! Very tiny but already has a heartbeat! Thank you God for this MIRACLE!

FAITH.......

Faith is something that we have had to have A LOT of during this ttc journey. We had to have FAITH that we were following God's will for our lives when we decided to approach the ART Program. We had to have FAITH that God would give the doctors the knowledge to find out what the problem was. We had to have FAITH that God was in control when we lost our first baby. We had to have FAITH that God would bless us again with a miracle (and he has). And now we have to have FAITH that he will take care of our little baby and will protect him/her. And even in the future we will have to have FAITH in everything we do and everything involving this little miracle he has blessed us with.

Looking back on how much FAITH has to do with our lives, DH and I have decided that if our baby is a GIRL her middle name will definitely be FAITH.

Beta #3= 3,176.....WOW

Wow.....I can't believe how high my beta climbed this week. It went from 163 to 3,176. I'm so excited!!!! I am 5 weeks and 3 days pregnant today (according to my last menstrual period). My RE wanted me to go for a ultrasound in 2 days because she said that she likes for anyone with numbers over 3,000 to get an ultrasound to make sure there is no tubal problems. BUT....I declined. I told the nurse that I did NOT want an early ultrasound. I want to wait until I am far enough along to actually see some part of the baby on the ultrasound. I would worry myself CRAZY if I went in there this week and only saw a sac with nothing in it. That is seriously my worst fear right now. I DO NOT want to re-live our first pregnancy over again. So with that.....our first ultrasound will be at 6 weeks and 3 days pregnant! I'm very excited and scared at the same time!!!!!! But I know that it is all in God's hands and he will take care of us!!! Please keep us in your prayers!!!!

Beautiful Sunday on the U of A Campus

Today was way to BEAUTIFUL to stay indoors....so we decided to take the pups for a walk. We live about 5 minutes from UA campus so we strolled down to the quad and took some pics! The pups had a blast checking out all of the people and other pups enjoying the weather. My sweet hubby and our girls!!!

Me and my Sweet ALI

Me and my other sweet girl LEXI

Denny Chimes

Bryant-Denny Stadium

Beta #2......

My prayers are answered AGAIN!!! Beta #2=163. YAY!!!! Baby seems to be growing good by my hcg numbers! We won't get to see our little peanut for another 1-2 weeks on an ultrasound to make sure he/she is physically doing good. According to my calculations from my period, I am 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant! Yay! My progesterone was 24.3 this time and my RE said that she likes it at 25 so she has upped my progesterone to 3 times a day! Yuck. I HATE doing the vaginal pills, but I will do it a million times a day to keep little peanut healthy! DH and I were hesitant about getting too attached to the baby right now seeing that i am VERY early and fears that the past will repeat itself, but I think we BOTH failed at this! We have been thinking of baby names and planning out the nursery ALREADY! Haha.....there is NO DOUBT that this baby is already extremely LOVED!

Honey......WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

Well it's hard to surprise your husband when he KNOWS your getting a pregnancy test done that day, but I was bound and determined that I was NOT going to tell him over the phone. Since I don't get off work until 5:00pm I had to tell a few little white lies. DH had text me SEVERAL times throughout the day asking me if the doc office had called me yet. Everytime i would act like i haven't heard from them and I even acted very mad several times. I told DH that I was going to change dr offices if they don't know how to call their patients!!! OK...I know I went a little far with that lie but i had to make it believable!!! LOL! Anyways, when I got off work I called DH and told him that I left several messages at the dr's office but no one would call me back (another lie). God please forgive me for being such a liar!!! After i got off the phone with DH i ran by a baby boutique called Baby Talk and go a book called "1001 things it means to be a DAD". I got home I came in like usual and loved on the pups and fed them. DH was in the recliner playing on the laptop and I laid the book on his lap. He picked it up and read it and a HUGE smile came on his face and he said "YOU CRAZY THING.......I KNEW IT" That smile was worth a million dollars!!! DH claims he already knew we were pregnant because I had already showed signs! He said i had been hungrier than normal and much more moody! HAHA! The sad thing is I really have been moody! Lol. Anyways, I videoed telling DH and it SHOULD be at the bottom of the post!!!!

On Wednesday we decided to tell Dustin's parents. They live about and hour away so we decided to just tell them on skype. We showed them the book that I got DH in hopes that they would catch on that DH was going to be a daddy. Needless to say it took them a few minutes but they were EXTATIC when they realized what we were telling them.
Then, Thursday night we decided to invite my parents over for supper. They only live about 5 minutes away, but we had to wait until Thurdsay because my parents work different shifts and we had to pick a day that they would both be off. Well I kept quit throughout super but my mom started asking questions when we were cleaning up the kitchen. EVERYONE thought we were not going to the doctor until Friday so my mom was asking me what time my appointment was in the morning and have i took a home pregnancy test. Of course i had to lie AGAIN!!! After changing the subject quickly we all sat down in the livingroom to watch tv. i snuck off and got a onesie that I bought to surprise them with. It says "When God make ME he was just showing off!!" TOO CUTE! I walked in and told everyone that the onesie doesn't fit now, but in 8 more months it will! My brother and dad knew exactly what I was saying. My mom was clueless. She read the onesie and said isn't that cute! I had to REPEAT myself slowly until she got what i was saying! After she calmed down from the excitement she said "I thought you weren't going until tomorrow?" I told well.....I lied!!!!! She wasn't mad though!


HERE IS THE VIDEO!!!!!!!

Beta #1= 36........

YES you read that right!!! WE ARE PREGNANT!!! It's a very low (early) number BUT it's still positive!!! YAY!! We are BEYONG excited! ALL the praise goes to GOD who is the one and only person who made this happen! Thank you God for our MIRACLE!!!!

Ok, now for they whole story how we found out. First, our beta was scheduled for Tuesday the 22nd. So impatient me decides to take a home pregnancy test on Monday morning. Well disappointment set in. It was negative! I was broken hearted! So when Tuesday came and i went to the RE's office i told them that the test was negative the day before so i'm not getting my hopes up. The all said they were sorry and started talking about getting ready for the next cycle of ttc. Also that day I had a video conference with my doc. We went over the next steps we would do and she talked about how we were now in the "unexplained infertility" category and how she will only let us do 2-3 more IUI cycles until having to move forward with IVF. I was sad because IVF= about $9-10,000. Yea we don't have that much money. But she also told me to stay positive and that just because my home test was negative doesn't mean anything. Well I didn't want to get my hopes up so I just said ok.

Well long about 2:30 I'm sitting at work and look down and i have a voice mail from a number I don't know. I listen to the voicemail and it is the nurse practitioner from the branch office where i live (the one who actually did my IUI). She wanted me to call her back on her cell phone. Ok by this time my heart is RACING!! I couldn't dial the numbers in fast enough. When she answered she told me that she had a patient right in front of her and could she call me right back in 2 minutes. So while I waited those 2 LONG minutes I was PRAYING HARD. "Please God let this be good news". Well as soon as i answered the phone she said "I just looked over your lab results and YOUR PREGNANT!!!" Of course i was doing the usual "Your kidding? ME? Are your sure you have the right person?" She said YES YOU!!! Your beta is 36!! She said i was so early in the pregnancy that the home test couldn't pick it up! THANK YOU GOD FOR ANSWERED PRAYERS!!!!!! Also she said my vitamin D was low so now I have to take supplements. But hey I will do anything for this miracle!!! I go back next tuesday for my beta # 2. Please keep us in your prayers!!!

I will post how i told DH and the family later tonight or tomorrow!!!

IUI #2....and a learning experience

Well today was our second IUI and it went great. At the "branch" office that we go to they are unable to do "counts" with the sperm but she said that everything looked great and motility looked perfect. DH was able to go with me this time and I really liked having him there. It kind of made things feel a little more personal and not so much like a sterile dr's office situation.

The learning experience of this trip was for DH. The nurse let him take a look at my "open cervix" which just indicates that ovulation is close. He was very amused. LOL. Also he got to take a look at his "little men". The nurse still had some of his sperm left on a slide and we got to go check them out under the microscope. Needless to say, DH was proud of little soldiers!

Just keep us in your prayers that this will be our miracle baby! It's all in God's hands!

Hopefully, Lucky number ONE.....

I had my CD10 ultrasound today and I had ONE mature follicle! Yep, only one little booger. BUT....it only takes ONE to make a baby. So we are hoping and PRAYING that this single, little egg is our miracle that we've been waiting for.

This morning i was kind of sad that i didn't have more than one mature follicle because every other time that we have done injectables I have had 4-5 growing follicles. But after a lot of thought, I like how different this cycle is. Yea it is kind of scary to know that we only have ONE SHOT at it this time but then again I know that God has it all in his hands and no matter if there is one or if there is a hundred, HE is in control. And things will happen in HIS time, not ours.

So the plans are for me to get my trigger shot tonight and insemination Wednesday at 11:30. I am very excited to see what is in store for us. Keep us in your prayers!

She's HERE.....

You guessed it....AF FINALLY arrive Saturday. It's about time! I've been waiting impatiently. I went ahead and ordered my gonal-f and scheduled it to be shipped Friday (2 days ago) and it was crazy at what all I had to do to get that done. Apparently our insurance decided to make the pharmacy get tons of paperwork filled out and signed in order for any fertility medicine to be approved. So I spent nearly all day Wednesday trying to make sure the RE's office got the paperwork and faxed it back. Needless to say, one would fax the paper but the other wouldn't get it.....and this went back and forth nearly 4 times until I FINALLY told them to pick up the phone and call the RE's office and get whatever information they needed over the PHONE!!!! After that, they got all they needed and things went smoothly. Anyways, i have my baseline ultrasound and bloodwork scheduled for in the morning which is CD 3 so I should start my meds tomorrow night. Very excited!!!!

This cycle is NOT starting off good....

Ok, last Thursday started off great. I went to my appointment and got to see the "ladies" again (LPN and Nurse Practitioner). I've missed those girls! They are great! Anyways, my ultrasound turned out fine, they took my blood work, and then I got my progesterone shot. They told me that the shot wouldn't hurt as bad as it usually does because they are using a different kind now that is not as "thick" of an oil but the results are the same. I'm pretty tuff, if I say so myself, I never thought the "thick" one hurt too bad so I was like, ok. That's fine with me. Well she gave me my shot (which didn't feel much different) and told me that I should expect AF by monday. If she comes by monday i wouldn't have to do another baseline ultrasound or blood work. I could use everything from today. I'm thinking, "That's great, I wouldn't have to pay another copay or get up extra early to come before work and get pricked with another needle or another ultrasound". So I went off on my merry way to work.

Well, Friday morning I woke up and my butt, hip, thigh...practically my whole right lower side felt like someone had pulled every muscle I had out! I could barely even put pressure on my right leg. Not to mention when I sat down my right butt cheek felt like needles!!! I think she hit a major muscle with the needle because it was nearly unbearable! It has taken until Sunday morning to get back to normal. Lets just say that I am NEVER doing that again. I would rather take the pills and wait for AF to come in two weeks.

So that was one negative thing that has happened so far. SECOND, DH and I decided to go back to using gonal-f injectables instead of follistem because they didn't seem to have as many side effects on me AND I seemed to respond better to that medication. So i asked the nurse and she said "Sure"! Well later that day the nurse called back and said "well, the doc has you on 50 units but gonal-f pen doesn't go that low. So they only way to use that medication is to mix up the ingredients when you get ready to use them and you have to use a syringe to draw out your dosage every night. OK....that doesn't sound too bad but i guess i'm spoiled to the "twist the knob on the pen and it does all the work kind of shot". Needless to say I agreed to go that route because I don't want to use follistem this cycle. We will just have to see how this works out!!!

THIRD, it is now Sunday night and AF is no where to be found!!!! And you know what that means! If she doesn't show up in the morning I am going to have to schedule ANOTHER appointment and have a baseline ultrasound and blood work done AGAIN!!! Not very happy about that one. I don't expect her to show in the morning either because she is showing NO signs that she is coming soon!!!

I sure hope this is not a sign that this cycle is not going to turn out good! Please pray that things start getting better!!!!

Got an Appointment

I spoke with the nurse today and she reviewed my chart and decided they wanted to get some blood work to check all of my levels and also do a ultrasound to measure my endometrium thickness and check and see if those pesky cysts have gone. I agreed with anything they wanted to do. I'm just excited to be back "trying" again. So my appointment is for Thursday morning at 7:30 am. She didn't mention the progesterone shot but I am going to make sure and ask them again when I go. I like getting the shot a whole lot better then having to take the pills for 7 days and then having to wait 7-14 more days for AF to show up. Usually after the shot AF come within a week. So it's much quicker and right now, the sooner- the BETTER!!!

I thought I would leave you with some pics from our weekend at Blue Ridge Mts, GA. DH surprised me and we spent the weekend in a cabin for Valentines Day! He's such a sweetheart!












DH and I at the Scenic Railroad. I love black and white pics.



SUNRISE
l
l
V
A cascading waterfall that we hiked to!



Ali and Lexi were SO TIRED on the way home. They loved going on a trip.

Break Is OVER....

I am so excited that it is time to begin starting to ttc again. Although I really did enjoy the break, 3 months is TOO LONG! I'm officially on CD 40 and AF hasn't shown up yet. And NO I'm not pregnant. I've already taken several tests! LOL. So I'm going to call my RE's office tomorrow and see when I can come in to get a blood pregnancy test and a progesterone shot to bring on AF. Hopefully I can run in one morning this week before work. DH and I have decided to stick with doing injectables and proceeding with IUI #2. I can't wait. I feel very positive about this time. I don't know if it's because i've lost 25lbs and that is something "different" with our ttc plan or it could be just the anticipation from the long wait. But either way I am staying positive!!!!

Blogger Award

Hello Ladies- A very SWEET blogger friend of mine whose name is My Infertile Confessions, gave me my first blogger award! Thank you so much. You are such a sweet friend.

The rules for accepting this award are:


1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you the award.

2. Share 7 things about yourself.

3. Award 15 other bloggers.

4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award.


Here are seven things about me:

1. First and foremost, I am a Christian and I loved the Lord my God with all my heart! He died on the cross so that I can live!!!

2. I have two of the sweetest, most hyper miniature dachshunds ever and I love them to death. I treat them as if they are real babies and they are spoiled rotten.

3. I love to go mountain biking. DH and I bought bikes last summer and are hooked. We can't wait for it to warm up so we can start riding again. p.s. I don't like riding in cold weather!

4. I have never had surgery or ever been put to sleep until I was diagnosed with INFERTLITY. In the past 2 years I have had 6 procedures/surgeries and have been put to sleep 3 different times. Wow....and still NO BABY! Def. the hardest journey ever!

5. I ABSOLUTELY love Mexican and Japanese food!!! I could seriously eat it EVERY day!!

6. My DH and I use to double date together when we were with our ex's. So we went on double dates together before we even started dating each other. So funny!!!!

7. I LOVE to talk. I hardly ever meet a stranger. On the other hand, it's like pulling teeth to even get my DH to speak to anyone he doesn't know. He is VERY shy!!!! I guess opposites do attract!!!!



**I don't follow that many blogs so I am only going to nominated a few****


I'd like to share this award with:


Tanner Traditions

The Life of A Husband and Wife

The Yerkes Life

Walk with me by Faith

I know it's been a while....

Hey ladies! I know it's been a while since I've given you an update, but not much has happened. I've still been working on losing weight. I've lost 22.6 lbs now!!! Excited it not even close to how I feel. DH and I have already books our beach trip for our 4 year anniversary in June. I'm ready to sport that bathing suit and short. But of course if for "SOME REASON" I have a belly bump (LOL) I would still sport that with pride!!! LOL! We go back to the doctor the middle of February, that is unless AF shows up on her own around the 7th. Then we will go sooner. Which is fine with me! I'm ready to get things starting again!!!

On another note, I got a (new to me) vehicle. YAY!!! I LOVE IT! It's a 2006 Honda Pilot. We have plenty of room to grow into now.

LOVE IT!!! I have been wanting one of these for a long time!!!!
Third row seats!!! Lots of room!!! Now all we need is a baby to fill up that space!!!

Just The Girls

This past weekend was my mom's 48th Birthday. I called my Aunts (My mom's sisters) and asked if they wanted to go out with us Friday night. We decided we would all go to Sips and Stokes. If you haven't heard of this before, it a class that teaches you how to paint a certain painting while you sip on wine or any other drink. We had such a great time and i could tell my mom really enjoyed it.

Me and My Mom getting ready to paint. The best Mom ever!!!

My Aunts Theresa and Margaret. Love these Gals!!!

The Finished Product! Theresa, Me, My Mom, and Margaret.

Eating TCBY after painting. Poor Margaret had to sit in the naughty chair. LOL!!!



This is a video of my Aunts practicing their ZUMBA while our paintings dried at Sips and Stokes. P.S. They didn't know that I was videoing them! Lol!