IUI #3...

Hopefully the third time is a charm. We started back ttc again after our 2nd loss and I have to admit that it is hard. Hard to keep faith. I'm not going to go into all that right now. I will save that for another long post. But we are officially on CD 15 and had our IUI today. We had ONE mature follicle Saturday at our visit measuring 18mm. Again, it scares me that we only have one shot at catching that little egg but that is exactly what we had last time and we got pregnant. So hopefully we will catch it again! Now all we can do is pray that this is God's time for us!!!!

In Remembrance.....

I was browsing the internet the other day and came across this website where they make remembrance jewelry for our lost babies and I decided that I HAD to have it. So here is my beautiful necklace that I got to remember my 2 angel babies!

The front of my necklace. It's two foot prints inside of a heart!

The front again. It's MUCH prettier in person. The camera doesn't do it justice.

The back. It says 7 1/2 wks and 9 wks-Boy. That is how far along our babies were when we lost them.

If you want to check out the website that I got this from it is www.myforeverchild.com

This is just a way that i can always remember our little ones and they will ALWAYS be in my heart!

Our Little Man....

I had my 6 week post D&C appointment and things went well. I'm doing good and the doc said that our chromosomal tests came back absolutely normal. He was actually surprised that the tests were normal. He said that most statistics show some sort of abnormalities when women have a miscarriage. I guess that could be a good and bad thing. Good that nothing was wrong with our baby and bad that we don't know why we had the miscarriage seeing that the baby was healthy. I guess it was all in God's plan.


We also found out today that our sweet angel baby was a precious little BOY. This was a bitter sweet thing to find out. I've thought so much about if our baby was a boy or girl and to tell the truth, I was 99.9% sure it was a girl. LOL. I guess I was totally WRONG. On another note, it kind of hurts more knowing that we lost a sweet, precious boy. I guess it makes it more REAL knowing that we had a son. So many thoughts and emotions going on right now. But I'm still happy to finally KNOW for sure.

Mommy and Daddy love and miss you little man! You will ALWAYS be in our hearts!!!!

Not much new.....

I hate to be MIA, but there hasn't been a whole lot going on lately. I go back for my post-op appt June 6th but DH and I have decided to extend our ttc break a little longer. We are just going to enjoy the beginning of the summer and think about ttc in another couple of months.

Other news, my brother and sis-in-law found out they are having a BOY!!!!!!!!! YAY! I am overly excited to become an aunt again. This time to a sweet little boy! So very excited! He's going to be so spoiled by his Aunt K.

Also, we are heading to the beach Friday with my brother and sis-in-law (mentioned above) and my Mom and Dad. We haven't been on a vacation with my family (without extended family going) in "who knows how long"!!! I am VERY excited! We are going to have a blast. I will def have pics coming of this trip!!!

Then just 3 weeks after we get back from the beach we are going BACK. We always celebrate our Anniversary at the beach and on June 23 it will be our 4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! So funny how time has flown by. I Love My Hubby so much! He really is the sweetest, cutest, most caring man I've ever met.

So we do have a fun filled couple of weeks ahead of us!

BLESSED

I know it's been a few weeks and I have been MIA, but I just needed a break and a little time to work through all of our emotions. We are actually doing very good now. God has really given us a peace about our situation and it's amazing how God has been right by our sides throughout this WHOLE time. We are also really BLESSED to have such great friends and family by our sides also. We have received several cards, phone calls, emails, and letters that have really helped us cope with our loss. Of course it hasn't been anywhere near easy, but God and family have made it much easier than it could have been. Thank you all for the prayers and kind words. They all mean a lot to us.

We are just taking it easy and enjoying the many other blessings that we do have. We already have a busy summer starting up with beach trips and family coming down to visit.

Nestled in the Arms of the Lord...

We actually got to go to our dr appointment this morning. They ended up opening this morning. As you can tell from the title our little one put up a hard fight but is now in our Heavenly Fathers arms. We had our ultrasound and the tech searched long and hard but we couldn't find a heartbeat anywhere. Also there still had been no growth. DH and I were upset but we were also prepared for the worst and we took it pretty well. After talking to the doc we decided to go ahead and get the d&c done today too. So when we left the office we went straight to the outpatient center to get ready for the procedure. Everything went well and we are now home relaxing and thanking God for the blessings that we STILL have. So many around us have lost homes and loved ones during this tornado Wednesday and God protected us. We had no damage and all our family is safe. So even though we are morning the loss of our little one, we are still thanking God for our many blessings! Thank you everyone for your kind words and prayers! We love you all!

Update

Sorry it took me so long to update......thanks ladies for caring so much and praying for us.

Mondays ultrasound was heart wrenching. Baby still showed no growth and its heart rate went down to 61 bpm. I've been upset BUT I have to keep thinking that God is keeping that heart beating for a reason!!! He/she sure is a fighter! We are suppose to go back to the doc tomorrow for another ultrasound but a tornado hit our town last night and the doc office has minor damage and is closed. So not sure when our appointment will be rescheduled.
I promise to keep yall updated on a regular basis. Love yall and please keep the prayers coming!!!

PRAYERS NEEDED.......

This has been a rough week. We went to our 2nd ultrasound appointment Tuesday and we were so excited to see our little one again and see how much he/she had grown over the week. But our hearts broke in half when the ultrasound tech told us that the baby had only grown 1 day bigger over the past 7 days. Also we got to measure the heart rate and our poor little one isn't doing well. It's heart rate only measured 71 bpm. The RE said that normal range is over 100 bpm at this stage. We finished with the ultrasound and went into a room waiting for the RE to come in and talk with us. When she came in she acted like we had already lost the baby. She gave me a hug, told me she was so sorry, and then started asking me if i would rather have a D&C this time or just let the miscarriage happen naturally. My mouth dropped i was so in shock. She went on talking about how they can send the fetus off to be tested to see what was wrong with it and they could do genetic test on me and DH that day!!! WHAT???? I was beyond mad. They were sitting there acting like my baby was DEAD. My baby STILL has a heartbeat! MY BABY IS NOT DEAD! Needless to say when we left there we called my OB/GYN and scheduled an appointment with him. I understand the RE trying to be honest and upfront about the possibility of losing our little one BUT we the baby is NOT dead. They were WAY out of line bringing all that up at the moment.

Anyways, we went to see my OB/GYN thursday (which was my BIRTHDAY) and we got a little better report. The baby had grown another day bigger over the past two days and its heart rate had went from 71 to 85 bpm. He did tell us that there was still a lot of concern because of the low heart rate but IT'S ALL IN GOD'S HANDS. Yes my doctor told me that. I love him. He is such a great Christian man. This was a great day to me because we got to HEAR the heartbeat for the first time. That was the sweetest sound ever. Such a GREAT birthday gift.

We go back to the OB Monday to see if there are any more improvements. Please keep us in your prayers.

We have a HEARTBEAT!!!!!!!

We got our first ultrasound Tuesday April 12th and it was such a relief to see that little flicker on the screen! The baby is so TINY and looks like a little comma. LOL. At the branch office we go to you can't measure or hear the heartbeat with their machines. Kind of disappointing but we did get to watch that little flicker just beating away on the screen. Next ultrasound we are going to the main office in Birmingham because the branch office is going on vacation. Hopefully the main office will have the machines so we can hear the heartbeat this time. You really can't tell much from the pic but I am so proud of my little miracle!!! Keep growing little one. Can't wait to see you again!

Ok...I'll help you out with what your seeing. Lol. The circle on the right is the yolk sac which is giving the baby its nutrients until the placenta forms. The little comma on the left side of the circle is our little baby! Very tiny but already has a heartbeat! Thank you God for this MIRACLE!

FAITH.......

Faith is something that we have had to have A LOT of during this ttc journey. We had to have FAITH that we were following God's will for our lives when we decided to approach the ART Program. We had to have FAITH that God would give the doctors the knowledge to find out what the problem was. We had to have FAITH that God was in control when we lost our first baby. We had to have FAITH that God would bless us again with a miracle (and he has). And now we have to have FAITH that he will take care of our little baby and will protect him/her. And even in the future we will have to have FAITH in everything we do and everything involving this little miracle he has blessed us with.

Looking back on how much FAITH has to do with our lives, DH and I have decided that if our baby is a GIRL her middle name will definitely be FAITH.