Why do I watch these shows?

As hard as it is to go through the struggles of trying to conceive, for some reason I find new ways to torture myself even more. I find myself watching tv shows that show people who take the miracle of having a baby for granted. I get so mad every time I watch the shows "16 and Pregnant", "Secret Life of the American Teenager", "Teen Mom", "Pregnant and....". But no matter how mad I get at these shows, I still watch them. Why? I HAVE NO CLUE! It's like I am addicted to watching them experience motherhood because it is something that I long for and am not able to achieve. It's like I feel as if I can't have a baby of my own right now, then maybe watching someone who has what I want will fill that hurt just a little bit. Not a good excuse, I know. But that is the best reason I can come up with at the moment. I truly don't understand why I watch them.

On the other hand, I have found a tv show that I absolutely LOVE! It's called "Giulianna and Bill". It's a lot like all the other celebrity shows where you watch the couples everyday lives but this show is a little different. Giulianna and Bill share their journey as they experience infertility. They openly talk about their struggles with not being able to automatically get pregnant like all the other "NORMAL" people out there. It's comforting because I am able to relate to some of the trials they are going through. I have went through the bloodwork, negative pregnancy tests, and doctor visits just like they have. It helps comfort me in knowing that I am not the only one out there that is experiencing this.