+ OPK......Yay!

Today is CD 18! Last night and this morning I got a +opk! YAY! You can guess what happens now! Time to get busy!

Camping Trip and Update

Dustin and I decided to get away and go camping this weekend. It was such a beautiful weekend and we really enjoyed getting away and having alone time. With our work schedules and me finishing school, we hardly have time together. We usually sleep in a tent when we go camping but we decided to try something different this time so we slept in the back of the truck in the camper. It really wasn't as bad as it sounds. We got a lot of laughs out of it. I love getting out and "roughing it". We went fishing, built a campfire, and played with the pups. They even enjoyed getting out of the house. Here are some pics!Dustin's little fish he caught! The fish weren't biting! The water was way too rough!



Poor Lexi fell into the water! She got a little to close to the edge! Let's just say she didn't get on the edge again! Lol!

My sweet Ali! She looks so LONG in this pic!

Our pitiful bed! It's not much but it was fun!

Dustin telling "Indian Stories" around the campfire! So funny!

I have prissy pups! They didn't like being on the ground. They wanted their own chair!


Update: Today is CD17. I have a feeling this month is going to be a bust. No +opk which means that I haven't ovulated yet. I'm not giving up yet but I'm not getting my hopes up either. Oh well, I didn't expect much since we were trying a natural cycle this month.

We Have Our Own LINGO...

I have to admit that when I started researching chat boards and blogs about infertility, it was like I was introduced to a whole new language. It took me forever just to understand ALL of the abbreviations for words. That is when "google" became my best friend. I have jotted down a few of the more common abbreviations that I use from time to time. Mainly I want to share it with you because after nearly a year of reading these blogs and chat boards I have picked up on a few of the abbreviations and use them without even realizing it. I know all of my IF blog friends are more than familiar with these terms, but for my family and friends who are clueless to what I am saying sometimes, I am going to give you a key to our secret language. LOL!

AF - Aunt flow, menstrual cycle
BBT - Basal Body Temperature
BD - Baby Dance (intercourse)
BFP- Big Fat Positive (positive pregnancy test)
BPN - Big Fat Negative (negative pregnancy test)
CD- Cycle Day (Starts from the 1st day of period)
CM - Cervical Mucous
DH - Dear husband
EDD - Expected Due date
HPT - home pregnancy test
O - Ovulation
OB - obstetrician
OPK - Ovulation prediction kit
RE - reproductive endocrinologist
TTC - trying to conceive
US - ultrasound


Update:
Today is CD 10 for me. Yay! WARNING....TMI...LOL..Our doctor told us to bd every other night so you might as well say that the spontaneous, exciting love making is out the window. It is now a scheduled event on our calender! But we are willing to do whatever it takes so it is all worth it! I am using opk's to try and pin-point O. Opk's are very unpredictable but I decided to try them again anyways. Last time I couldn't read the results clearly so it was hard to tell when or if O had occurred. Hopefully I will have better luck with them this time! Thanks for listening to me spill about our ttc journey! It really helps me a lot. I will try and keep updating at least once a week!

Being Creative....

One of my favorite things to do is scrapbook, but here lately I just haven't had time. So the other day we planned a baby shower for the optometrist that I work for and I decided that I wanted to be CREATIVE. Since I haven't had time to be creative with scrapbooking in a while I decided to be creative with a baby shower gift. So instead of just giving them a pack of diapers, I wanted to make it a diaper cake. I've seen them several times at a baby shower and they didn't seem too hard to make. So I looked to my best buddy "google". And, to my surprise, there was several websites that gave step-by-step directions as to how to make one. I changed a few things about it just to add my own touch, but I was very happy with the way it turned out.

VERY Emotional Day

Well, today has been a very emotional day. When we found out that we were pregnant with our "angel baby" one of our close friends also found out that they were expecting. We were so excited because we got pregnant almost exactly at the same time. I was 3 days further along than she was and we were so excited because we were going to get to experience our pregnancies together. Well of course when we found out that we lost our little one, we were devastated. But, at the same time, we were still very happy for our friends and their healthy little one.

Well, this coming Monday our friends get to find out whether they are having a boy or girl. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled for them. But at the same time I am SAD. Since I was 3 days further along than her, TODAY should have been OUR appointment day to find out what we would have been having. Their pregnancy is kind of a bitter, sweet reminder of what should have been happening to us at the exact time it is happening to them.

In a way, I think I could have a little more comfort in our loss if I just knew if we had son or daughter. But, on the other hand, I think about how much more attached I would have been if I knew that and I know it would have hurt us even more. Even though I can't imagine it hurting even more than it did, I know deep down in my heart that it would have been close to unbareable for me and I know God knew I couldn't handle that. He wanted to strengthen our faith, not break it. And even though it was a tough situation and I did have a lack of faith at times, my faith has been strengthened in so many ways because of our loss and now I am thankful for all that has happened. I've learned that it is ok to be sad at times. God is here to comfort us when we are sad and he's also there to remind us that "Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning" Psalms 30:5. He knows what is best for us and if we trust in him, our lives will be filled with JOY!

TMI???

Is there such a thing as TMI (Too Much Info) if you are talking about infertility? I DON'T THINK SO! First of all infertility consist of ovulating, temping, blookwork, meds, opk's, baby making, hpt's, periods, emotions, and the list goes on. And if that stuff is not tmi, then I don't know what is. If you have ever read any of my IF friend's blogs then you know that I don't share as much "info" as they do, but I probably do share a little too much at times.

I never forewarned my readers that this is mostly a infertility blog and not a family blog. Therefore, there are going to be times when I do share a little too much info. But, I started this blog so that I can talk about what I am going through and express my emotions during these tough times and if it consists of tmi then please just bare with me on that and just overlook it if it makes you uncomfortable. I try to keep all the "really" personal info to a minimum but sometimes it's just hard to explain things that are going on without going into all the details. Especially when your talking about trying to conceive.

So just a heads up, if you haven't already realized it, this blog consists of 75% TMI. That is why I have only shared this blog with family and a couple friends. I just don't want ALL of my facebook friends reading about when I start or every doctors appointment I go to. I'm not ashamed to share my personal life with my FAMILY and trust me, my family doesn't mind sharing their personal matters with us either (even stuff that we would rather NOT know)! LOL! That's one thing that I love about them though. They speak exactly what is on their minds and will ask you any questions they want to know! Especially my aunt! I love you "M"!

Update & A Question for my IF Friends

I just finished taking my provera yesterday which is relieving and upsetting at the same time. I waited nearly 9 weeks hoping that my body would regulate itself, but no luck. I started taking my pills last Thursday so it should be the weekend before af comes. Then we are going to try a natural month of trying to conceive. Maybe we can get lucky and get pregnant the "Old Fashion" way. Lol.

This question is for my infertility friends....

Does anyone else worry about taking provera?

Well....I do. I researched it the other day and found out that if for some reason you ARE pregnant when you take these pills it can cause a miscarriage or even severe birth defects. After reading that I made sure to take like 10 pregnancy test before taking my pills. But for some reason I keep thinking about how so many people claim that their pregnancy test came back negative when in fact they were pregnant. That just scares me.

Back in December when we found out that we were pregnant with our "angel baby", I almost started taking my provera the week before. I wasn't even going to bother taking a pregnancy test because my progesterone confirmed that I didn't ovulate. But because of our appointment with the RE was coming up, I just waited. Well from now on, no matter if I KNOW I'm not pregnant, I am still going to take a bunch of tests just in case. It's better to be safe than sorry!

PHOTO FUN

Well, everyone who knows me personally knows that I LOVE to take pictures! And since I don't have kids yet, my puppies are my babies and I LOVE taking pictures of them. Sometimes I even think they "pose" for the camera. So instead of writing a long, emotional post this time, I'm going to share some photos of my fur-babies!

"My 1st Fur-Baby!"


Ali 3 months old! So sweet!




Ali today (1 year old!) I Love how she turns her head!


"My 2nd Fur-Baby!"!


Lexi 6 weeks old!


Lexi today (5 months)! She hasn't changed much!


"More Pictures! I LOVE IT!"





ROLL TIDE ROLL!!!!





Aren't they CUTE????


Sorry so many pics. It was hard to just pick a few! Lol!

Why do I watch these shows?

As hard as it is to go through the struggles of trying to conceive, for some reason I find new ways to torture myself even more. I find myself watching tv shows that show people who take the miracle of having a baby for granted. I get so mad every time I watch the shows "16 and Pregnant", "Secret Life of the American Teenager", "Teen Mom", "Pregnant and....". But no matter how mad I get at these shows, I still watch them. Why? I HAVE NO CLUE! It's like I am addicted to watching them experience motherhood because it is something that I long for and am not able to achieve. It's like I feel as if I can't have a baby of my own right now, then maybe watching someone who has what I want will fill that hurt just a little bit. Not a good excuse, I know. But that is the best reason I can come up with at the moment. I truly don't understand why I watch them.

On the other hand, I have found a tv show that I absolutely LOVE! It's called "Giulianna and Bill". It's a lot like all the other celebrity shows where you watch the couples everyday lives but this show is a little different. Giulianna and Bill share their journey as they experience infertility. They openly talk about their struggles with not being able to automatically get pregnant like all the other "NORMAL" people out there. It's comforting because I am able to relate to some of the trials they are going through. I have went through the bloodwork, negative pregnancy tests, and doctor visits just like they have. It helps comfort me in knowing that I am not the only one out there that is experiencing this.