Needing some Blog-Therapy

A lot has happened withing the last 2 months which is why I am in serious need to blog and let some of my feeling and worry's flood out on this page. In April DH and I decided to begin the ttc journey again. As of Apri, I had only had one period since January and that was because the doc proscribed provera. DH and I discussed our option on whether to go back to our gyn or start back with our RE, whether to stay with clomid or move on to injectables, but one question we didn't have to discuss was whether we were ready to start trying again. We longed for another baby so bad that it hurt. We would have started trying again a month after if our doc would have let us. But I'm glad he didn't. We needed that time to mourn our loss more than we knew.

After several discussions we decided to stay with our gyn and to stay with clomid. Mainly the clomid because of financial costs and the hope that it will work again. DH told me that he just didn't feel like he wanted to go back to the RE just yet. So we stuck with the gyn but we soon found out that it wasn't worth it. I got a little aggrivated at my doc because he started me back at the VERY beginning. He gave me 50mg of clomid to take which I knew wouldn't work because neither the 50mg or the 100mg even worked last time. Which he might have to do that with that drug but it still aggrivated me. He could have discussed it with me. Then when it came time to get blood work results on day 21 the nurses kept giving me the run around. I would leave a message with the nurse and she wouldn't call me back. It took three days to finally get my results which confirmed that the 50mg did NOT work. I was so frustrated that I told DH that I didn't want to go back to them.

DH prayed about and came to me one day and said that he was ready to go back to the RE. He knew how much the gyn had stressed me out. The whole month is nothing but a guessing game because they do absolutely no monitoring except CD21 bloodwork. I explained to DH that just because we go to the RE doesn't mean that we have to jump straight to injectables. We can still do the clomid but have them do more monitring so that we have a clearer idea of what is going on during the month. So at the middle of May I called the RE and set up and appointment.